As a favor to the rest of humanity, I’ve decided to list the New Years resolution that you should be taking to make life more bearable for others. I’ve got a lot of problems with you people.

  • Learn to say no.
  • Along with saying no, say no to the super-sized fast food meals! Ordering a diet soda does not negate a triple Whopper with cheese.
  • Use a turn signal.
  • Learn to walk. Vulturing for a parking space at the local Sprawl Mart just to save you 20 feet of walking is not doing anyone any good.
  • Stop worrying about what others are doing, and take responsibility for your own life. The petty back talking and gossiping only makes you look and feel bad.
  • If you are going to post on the Internet, please learn some basic grammar. At the very least, a sentence should be spelled correctly, the first word should be capitalized, and the sentence should end with some sort of punctuation.
  • Stop being lazy.
  • You children will mimic what you do. If you act like an idiot, your children will also act like idiots.
  • Trust your child’s teacher. If your kid was acting up, discipline the child not the teacher.
  • Go to bed and remember 3 great things that happened that day. If three great things didn’t happen, make sure three great things happen the next day.