As the 2006 elections come to their inevitable conclusion, Howard Dean has decided to take up cat herding through the military:

The Democratic leadership has decided that instead of focusing on only a couple of issues, the Democrats will be all things to all people.

What this currently means is unclear. Apparently, health, taxes, education, and the war in Iraq is not enough. The Democrats will be releasing a 1,000 slide PowerPoint discussing their platforms, including such items such as the correct order of putting on shoes and socks (do you put both socks on first, and then shoes, or do you put one sock/one shoe and then the other) and

Karl Rove, leading Republican strategist, declined to comment. Rove, who in past has been able to get Republicans elected through sheer thought and animal sacrifices, has been having doubts in his ability. “People are too focused with Iraq… I don’t understand, it’s over 6,500 miles away. We have starving Republican legislators who need to be re-elected!”