Rightfully So

Someone has finally put into words how half the nation felt after November 2nd, 2004.

Unfortunately, the title isn’t about the more pleasurable subject as a woman shaking her booty. It’s about the ever increasing bulk of Americans that is now consuming 1 billion more gallons of gasoline a year.

The above study doesn’t even reflect on other wastes of fuel. Is it that hard to actually park your car in a parking lot instead of circling for 20 minutes, vulturing for that prime spot right next to the handicapped spot? I’m reminded of the woman in Clerks, searching for the gallon of milk that will expire in the next century. It’s not going to happen people! Besides, the walk will probably be good for you.

Rollover Presley just doesn’t have the same ring to it as rollover Beethoven, but Ludwig hasn’t been bringing in the bank like Elvis. And now Elvis, who has dominated the dead celebrity lists for earning the most has been dethroned by Kurt Cobain, the former lead singer of Nirvana.

Mr. Cobain brought in $50 million from October 2005-October 2006. And here I am picking up any penny I see on the street.

Just goes to show you that those liberals in Hollywood still have some down to earth values:

“Hollywood’s most high-profile engaged couple have finally set a wedding date.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will marry in Italy on November 18, Cruise’s representative, Arnold Robinson, confirmed to news organizations on Tuesday.”

It must be because Mission Impossible III is coming out on DVD on Monday, October 30. I don’t know why they aren’t releasing it on the 31st, maybe it’s a Scientologist holiday?

A dad who didn’t think his 6 or 7 year old son wasn’t getting enough playing time decided to pull a gun on the coach.

Now in what world does this sound like it’s a good idea? Even in the old west I don’t think there was ever a showdown at noon between a dad and a coach. The father is being charged with aggravated assault, simple assault and reckless endangerment.

As the 2006 elections come to their inevitable conclusion, Howard Dean has decided to take up cat herding through the military:

The Democratic leadership has decided that instead of focusing on only a couple of issues, the Democrats will be all things to all people.

What this currently means is unclear. Apparently, health, taxes, education, and the war in Iraq is not enough. The Democrats will be releasing a 1,000 slide PowerPoint discussing their platforms, including such items such as the correct order of putting on shoes and socks (do you put both socks on first, and then shoes, or do you put one sock/one shoe and then the other) and

Karl Rove, leading Republican strategist, declined to comment. Rove, who in past has been able to get Republicans elected through sheer thought and animal sacrifices, has been having doubts in his ability. “People are too focused with Iraq… I don’t understand, it’s over 6,500 miles away. We have starving Republican legislators who need to be re-elected!”