Last week on Rightfully So I gave tips on how to lower the temperature in your MacBook Pro. Not really, I talked about dating. To insure that the geek bloodlines carry on into the next generation (not the show) we will have to negotiate with the opposite sex the same way Harrison Ford doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. You can win her over with looks or personality, but how do we aquire these two things? We fake it.

First off, personality. Girls love to talk, but not about anything cool. Pretending to listen is going to be your greatest asset. When she starts talking about who knows what, you can use that time to think about upcoming video games you might want to purchase or who would win in a fight between Jack Bauer and Michael Knight. Just make sure you nod your head and throw a “yeah” in there every now and then. Once you get really good you can listen to the last sentance she said and turn it into a question that keeps her going. Eventually you will have to talk but you have to make sure you pick the right topic. If you start in with your analysis of Stargate SG1 vs. Battlestar Gallactica she’ll be gone before you can say “Cylon”. If it helps, pretend you are a rogue that maxed out your charisma points and you will say anything to the barmaiden to get the key to the dungeon (her pants).

The other route is working on your looks. Looks are more important than personality. If you are good looking then you can get away with playing Game Boy while she is talking to you. Even though most geek activities are the opposite of exercise, here are a few tips you can do to lose some pounds. The first is what I call the “Half Cheese” method, where you take in half the amount of cheese servings you normally eat. It doesn’t matter if that cheese is in whiz, do, or it form. Next you have to work on your wardrobe. Yes we all voted for Pedro but its time to put away the Hot Topic T-shirts when trying to make a good first impression. In order to look like the proper tool just go to any Old Navy, Gap or Abercrombie. They usually have a manaquin dressed up so you don’t even have to worry about matching things yourself. These clothes might cost a little more so you may have to put off buying your “The Evil That Men Do” trade for another month.

By following this advice you should be able to get the girl of your dreams*. We must strive to prevent geeks from dying out the way swing music died out in the late 1990s.

*Rightfully So takes no responsibility for kicks to the crotch you might receive.