The Geeks Guide to Getting the Girl - Part 1
By RC
Following the success of my Geeks Guide To NCAA Basketball I decided to write more articles to help geeks fit in with outside world. Studies show that 98% of the world is outside your basement. Unless you live in a Bio-Dome (the actual facility not the Pauly Shore movie), you’re going to have contact with this world, but with my help you can get through it.
Procreation. Even if you are not intersted in the opposite sex for recreational pruposes you should consider the fact that you will need someone to carry on your legacy someday. You need a kid that you can pass your D&D Miniatures on to and, if necessary, avenge your death.
So how do you make yourself appealing to women? Women rate guys based on the following equation:
(looks X 2) + personailty = dateability
As a geek we are naturally lacking in both departments. You can either work on your personailty and find a girl who likes you for what’s on the inside or you can work on your appearance, then you don’t have to be nice to girls at all. Some geeks hold out thinking they will find a female geek, but those are harder to come by than a Mox Ruby.
Next week we will take a look at both strategies: personality and appearance
Those who can’t, teach.
May 3rd, 2006 at 10:16 am
Kudos to RC for bring this issue to light… However, I suspect that in the interest of keeping things easy to understand, he has simplified the dateability equation significantly.
The more precisely correct equation is:
(make of car × 10) + ( (5 - distance of hairline from forehead) × 7) + (adjusted gross income from line 39 of IRS form 1040 × 25) + ( (160-weight) × 4) + ( (total surface area of facial hair - (total surface area of sideburns + total surface area of neck beard) × 6) + (quantity of high-school athletic trophys, awards, jackets etc. × 5) + personality = dateability
May 16th, 2006 at 6:03 am
Both RC and Jeff make good points but dont we have to divide both equations by pi?