Ahh… the music biz. For the past several years, the music industry and its consumers have seen unprecedented upheaval, technologically, politically, and culturally: ClearChannel-style homogenized FM radio broadcasts, darknet-style MP3 sharing, shotgun-style RIAA lawsuits… the list goes on and on. Nobody is satisfied with the status quo, yet there don’t appear to be any imminent solutions. How all of this plays out over the next decade will be truly remarkable to witness.

I want to focus on a tiny aspect of a tiny sliver of the debate: the “album.” The “album” is a collection of songs packaged as a unit. Often there is a unifying theme, a concept, or a message the artists are exploring, but, just as often, the “album” is just a bunch of songs that the artists happened to make at the same time.

À la carte music sales, one-hit wonders, and 45-RPM records all threaten to destroy the “album”, much to the chagrin of those who would be chagrined by the destruction of the album, and, with the destruction of the album, say the chagrined, so too go the financial rewards and incentives and modern civilization and other grandiose mumbo-jumbo whatever. You know the arguments: a single sells for x, an album sells for 10x, so, therefore albums are better. Or, they’re better if you’re selling; if you’re buying, singles are better.

But, I like albums. I like listening to songs I would not have otherwise heard, had I cherry-picked my songs individually. Some of my favorite songs would never ever have been played on the radio, because they were never “hits.” I heard them only because they came packaged in an album with another song I was wanting.

In my vast collection of music, there are very, very few “Greatest Hits” compilations. I don’t buy them. I hate them. I want albums.

So, to demonstrate my point, I have made a list of albums where the popular hit songs are, in fact, the worst songs on the album. If a “hit” is a “hit” because it is popular, and it is popular because people like it, and if the “hit” is in fact the worst song on the album, what does that say about the rest of the album? What does that say about the “album” concept in general?

Here’s my list. Please add yours in the comments section.

Artist Album Popular Song
Queen A Night at the Opera Bohemian Rhapsody,
You’re My Best Friend1
Robert Plant Now and Zen Tall Cool One
The Offspring Americana Pretty Fly For A White Guy
Van Halen 1984 Jump
The Police Regatta de Blanc Message In a Bottle,
Walking On the Moon
Barenaked Ladies Born on a Pirate Ship The Old Apartment
Squeeze ArgyBargy Pulling Mussels
Scorpions Love At First Sting Rock You Like A Hurricane
Counting Crows August & Everything After Mr. Jones
Spice Girls Spice 2 Become 1

1How exquisitely awesome must this album be if these are the worst songs?