During what was meant to be a peaceful nuking trip in Texas this weekend, Vice-President Dick “Not That Kind of Dick” Cheney accidentally sent a nuclear warehead slamming into the Iranian capital of Tehran, killing hundreds of thousands of people.

 ”It happened all of a sudden,” Cheney said, sipping a martini on the veranda of the mansion owned by long time friend and oil tycoon J.P. Chester Woodsrazer.  “I saw a bird fly by me and turned to shoot a nuke at it, but I didn’t see Iran step out of the woodline, and my nuke went right into it.  Could have happened to anybody, especially a privileged, geriatric, amoral shit-sack like me with no license or sense of awareness for anything or anyone other than myself.”

Fellow hunters agreed.  “This is not the Vice-President’s fault.  Anyone as clueless and stupid would have done the same thing.  It’s actually the fault of the National Bird-Nuking Association for allowing him to possess nukes in the first place.  Someone really should do something about that.”

White House lap dog Scott McClellan told reporters that the deaths of countless innocent lives should not concern American voters.  “Most of those people were insurgents, we have learned.  However, the evidence we have to prove this was blown up in the explosion, but you can trust us, all the people killed were guilty of something.”

President Bush could not be reached for comment, as he was being treated at Walter Reed Medical Center for an uncontrollable erection brought on by the thought of all that Iranian oil just waiting to be liberated and democratized.