It’s Valentine’s Day, and unless you are a single guy drowning your sorrows at the local bar, you probably have a date with your significant other. You may be thinking a night out at the movies will secure your gate pass to Pleasureland, but think again. The decline in quality movies is forcing more and more men to spend their nights “playing Halo” if you know what I mean. Just ask Gary Lowlibido, he is filing a lawsuit against Hollywood saying they are responsible for his lack of sex life. “Back in the 80s and 90s I could take a girl out to the movies and at the end whether she was laughing or crying, I was getting some that night. Now however, if I take a girl to a movie that sucks, she doesn’t.” Lowlibido stated. “We had Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump and Good Will Hunting. What are my options this week, Pink Panther? Firewall? Brokeback Mountain? Even the poster for that movie makes me uncomfortable.” The movie used to be the staple of dating, two hours you don’t have to talk to the other person followed by an awkward make out session in the backseat of your Ford LTD. But now a crappy movie can suck all the enjoyment out of a date, like a fat woman sucking down a large Diet Coke with her supersized Big Mac value meal.