The concept of movie stars doing commercials is not at all new. After all, the majority of these people are really no better than your typical commercial actor anyway, so the “credibility” factor of lowering onesself to t.v. level is not much of an issue when, say, David Spade hams it up for Capital One.

The bar has been severely lowered lately with the likes of Catherine Zeta-Jones, an Oscar winner, shilling for Verizon Wireless. Okay, she has a couple of kids now, I guess the extra dough for diapers and formula comes in handy. It’s not like Michael Douglas is as rich as Bill Gates. And from an advertising perspective it makes good sense; a pretty, brand-name actress gives your product a recognition edge in a crowded market.
What blows my mind, though, is someone like George Clooney doing voiceovers for Budweiser. This guy is filthy, stinking rich. Did you know that he owns Italy? Yes, the entire country of Italy belongs to him, look it up. And it’s not as though his career is waning; he’s at the very peak of his power. In ten or fifteen years I wouldn’t be surprised to see him back on t.v., but now?

And doing voiceovers? Budweiser doesn’t even benefit from having his face on screen. Just his voice! Are you really going to stand in front of the beer cooler at United Dairy Farmers and think to yourself, “If that authoritative voice on the commercial recommends Bud, it must be good enough for a social bottom-feeder like me.” Hell no! Do people even watch beer commercials that don’t have The Twins in them? George Clooney is collecting a check for talking over a commercial that nobody (except me, apparently) is watching.

Now times are tough, and it’s common for a minimum-wage dad to pick up an extra shift at the factory to help pay for his kids’ ear medicine. But what exactly is Clooney saving up for? I can see him now, pondering his dilemma: “Man, I’d really love to upgrade the yacht this year, but times are tough. That damn George Bush and his tax cuts for the wealthy haven’t done nearly enough for my bottom line. I’ll have to get a part-time job just to make ends meet. If only there were something an unskilled Kentucky boy like me could do to pick up an extra hundred grand or so, just to get me over until next payday.” Now I’m no thespian like Clooney, but I remember enough of my high-school English to accurately quote Hamlet who said, “Art thou f***ing kidding me, Ophelia?”