Sometimes, I think British imports of television shows are just a plot by the Brits to show how stupid America is. First came The Weakest Link, then Who Wants to be a Millionaire, and now we have American Idol.

For the first several weeks we are subjected to the torment of terrible singers and dancer audtions. If I was Simon, Paula, or Randy, I’d be ticked that the producers were subjecting me to this! And you have to feel bad about this people, because they think they are good, and that they actually have a chance because they get to perform for the holy triumverate of Simon, Paula, and Randy.

Once we get past this abomonation, we finally get to the popularity contest, I mean, competition. Look at last season, when Constantine Maroulis was beaten by Scott Savol. Even the most tone-deaf redneck that watched the show could tell you who was the better star.

Then we have the judges… Who aren’t really judges at all. They’re more like commentators. We have the cynic, Simon, who believes that none of these performers have a chance in hell. Randy, the optimist, who does see some talent in some of the performers. And then their’s Paula, the cheerleader, who couldn’t give a negative comment if her life depended on it. All three give no constructive criticism on what the performers could do to improve.

Finally, we have the outcome of each season. American Idol has produced only one bonafide star, Kelly Clarkson. And that was after she dumped her manager from American Idol, Simon Fuller, and replaced him with Jeff Rabhan.

American Idol is Britain’s way of showing the stupidity and herd mentality of lazy Americans. Don’t let them make fun of you!