A peaceful hip-hop celebration broke out unexpectedly on New Year’s Eve during what was scheduled to be the gruesome drive-by murder of music mogul Free Luv. Luv, 36, was exiting the popular G-Spot Nightclub in Atlanta surrounded by bodyguards, when longtime nemesis and fellow rap impresario Poop Froggy-Frog sped by in his gold, armor-plated Hummer. Onlookers and partygoers alike dropped to the sidewalk as machine guns emerged from the Hummer’s tinted windows and Luv’s bodyguards drew their arms to return fire.

However, rather than having countless gaping, blood-gushing holes ripped through their bodies, the crowd was shocked to find itself instead in the midst of a spirited, booty-shaking hootenanny. Instead of the familiar ear-splitting sound of machine fire, they heard the bling-rattling bass of a seriously infectious groove swirling all around them.

“We wuz all speccin’ bullets be flyin’ n’ sheeit,” (”We expected there to be bullets”) said Tyrone Pizzy-Buhizzy. “I had my piece an ize like ‘Yo dog gam slap b’ ching-ching, be frunkin’ my crunk.’ For real.” (”I pulled out my gun and shouted ‘Heavens to Betsy, I believe they’re attempting to frunk my crunk. Seriously.”)

Within seconds, guns were put away and a peaceful jam ensued all along the street, enticing additional hordes of party-goers to step outside and join in the festivities. By the end of the sudden melee, dozens of well-behaved, upstanding young urbanites were sprawled on the sidewalk in contented exhaustion brought on by the death-free proceedings. While police are still investigating to see who was responsible for the conspicuously legal activities, rest assured it was a moment in hip-hop history that the participants will not easily forget.