Imagine a person who is 100% consistent. Imagine someone who will try to get you to stop whining the instant you begin. Imagine that you admire the consistency that this person can keep up in order to properly condition the subject who is whining. Now imagine this person is a dog. Evidently, mans best friend doesn’t care to hear us complain much.

I found this out quite by accident, but my dogs resolve continues to surprise me. My dog is very kind to me. Whenever she needs to eat, drink, play, or use the doggy potty room - she alerts me by coming over and looking pitiful. If I do not respond in a reasable amount of time (3.2 milliseconds), she begins a painful whine. After I realized that my dog was training me much better than I had ever trained her, I began to resist. Instead of responding to the very reasonable needs my dog was informing me of, I decided to engage in a very mature game of copycat. It turns out that she hates this.

If I mimic her whine back to her, she will whine louder. If I continue to whine she will begin pacing back and forth. As I continue to whine she will begin to bark. Finally, as my unrelenting whine hits a terrible crescendo, she storms out of the room. Once again I have a tiny epiphany and realize that my dog is acting more reasonable than I do. When my kids whine I tell them that whining will not get them what they want. They continue to whine and I inform them that whining is a sure fire way to lose privileges. As their whining intensifies to near tantrum stage I tell them to go to a room where all of the toys are. If I had just followed the lead of my dog, I would have laid down in my bed and taken a nap.

I want to be a dog, and rightfully so.